The holidays are always something to look forward too, however; for others it can be a tough experience. As you see other families enjoying each other’s presence, it’s completely normal to have a longing to be with your child. Holidays signifies cherished moments with families, but for birth parents, they can feel empty knowing that they are missing a part of their family. To avoid the emptiness feeling, and a roller coaster of emotions here are some tips for birth parents to cope through the holidays.
First things first, allow yourself to be truthful and feel every emotion, whether good or bad. Ignoring your emotions is emotionally unhealthy. To help you feel your emotions it’s good to have a support person which can be a family, friend or a social worker or counselor from an adoption agency. Having someone to spill your emotions to plays a huge role in your healing process.
Shop around for your child and dedicate some time to make something personal for them. It will help you feel connected. Making something personalized such as a card or frame is something they can always cherish for years to come.
Another tip birth parents have used is to look at photos sent from the adoptive parents of the child. It’s nice to have a wide variety of photos to choose from so it’s important to ask the adoptive family for many photos. Seeing a photo of the child happy and smiling can help you cope with your decision and reassure yourself that you made the right choice.
This brings me to the next piece of advice with having openness and establish a relationship with the adoptive family where you can talk to them freely. Maintaining a relationship with the adoptive family can relieve any feelings of emptiness and make you feel included.
Lastly, a great tip is to start a new project or something that sparks your interest. It’s easy for focus on the negative and grow feelings of regret during the holidays. Starting a new project will help you channel your energy into something positive.
To hear more tips for birth parents on how to cope during this holiday season, you might find this episode of Adoptions From The Heart TV to be helpful as they host a social worker and a birth mother to speak on the topic:
The holiday season can feel especially tough for birth parents. Brittany, a birthmother 5 years post placement, talks with Stephanie, our social worker from Central PA, about ways birth parents may cope during the holidays. We welcome comments from other birth parents as well about ways they have found to ease the challenge this time of year. #AdoptionsFromTheHeartTV #BirthParentSupport
Posted by Adoptions From The Heart on Monday, December 3, 2018