You may have decided that placing your child for adoption may be the best thing for you and your baby. In an ideal world, all of your loved ones would be understanding of your decision and encourage you. Unfortunately, not all families may be sympathetic to your situation. This post will guide you on what to do when your family is unsupportive of your adoption plan.
Contact an Adoption Agency or Social Worker
Often, contacting an agency is the best course of action to take first. The agency can connect you with a social worker who can walk you through all your options. They can also provide you with great resources while you are deciding whether to place your child and throughout your pregnancy. Your social worker can also act as a mediator when you are ready to discuss your adoption plan with your family. Social workers will have the tools and training to explain what placement will look like for your child and family.
Hear Their Concerns
While it (understandably) seems as though your family should be the ones to be caring and respect your wishes, try to discover their reasoning for being unsupportive. Quite often, families are apprehensive about adoption because of common misconceptions. Some of these misconceptions may be:
- They will be unable to see your child
- They will not get to build a relationship with your child
- Adoption will separate their family
- You do not love or care for your child
- The child may be abused or treated poorly
- They won’t know where the child would be or who the adoptive family is
This can be an opportunity to educate your loved ones on the way adoption works today. Show them that placement can be a beautiful thing for your family. Let them know you will get to decide which family to place your child with. Tell them you are placing your child because you love them and want to provide them with the best environment possible.
Make a Plan
Although, your loved ones may disagree with your plans, remember that you have the right to make the best choice for you and your baby. If comfortable, consider involving your family in your adoption plan. Your social worker can help you in creating a plan that outlines how much openness you and your family would like to have. For example, if you would like to have your parents to have a relationship with your child, you have the right to ask for them to be included in your visits. You can also request that the adoptive parents be open to communicating with your family members.
Seek Other Sources of Support
Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that your family will accept your decision to place. But you can always seek out other resources for support. Take this time to reach out to your friends. Also, consider joining a support group for expectant mothers. A support group can be a safe space to express all the emotions you are experiencing. You will also learn how other women in your situation are coping. Try joining a birth parent support group as well. These groups are typically only offered for parents who have already placed. But you might be allowed you to sit-in during a meeting. If you do, you will be able to hear from parents who have already experienced the impact of placing on their family and how life has been after the fact. Most of all, keep in close contact with your social worker. Social workers provide a tremendous amount of support throughout pregnancies and the adoption process. For nearly any question you have, they can find the answer.
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