Placing your child for adoption is one of the hardest decisions a mother would ever have to make. In a lot of cases, women get judged for choosing adoption for their child. Here are certain things that Birth Mothers want you to know about being a birth mother.
1. My love and intentions for my child are above all
Making sacrifices as a parent is very common; raising a child comes along with a plethora of sacrifices. Birth parents understand sacrifice all too well. Since they have made the ultimate sacrifice of not parenting their child. Birth parents always want what is best for their child and will love them forever.
2. Holidays are hard
Not a day goes by that birth parents don’t think about their child. Birthdays, Halloween, Christmas, etc. are all hard. However, Mother’s Day is very hard. Mother’s Day can be confusing for the sole reason of whether birth mothers want to be acknowledged on Mother’s Day or not. Acknowledging birth mothers on Mother’s Day is appropriate because they have brought a baby into this world. Bringing life into this world matters whether you parent the child or not. Another important day to honor birth mothers is National Birth Mother’s Day (May 9, 2020). This day’s primary purpose is to honor birth mothers and for other birth mothers to support one another.
3. Birth mothers don’t “Give their babies up”
Using phrases like “give up for adoption” or “give away” is extremely inappropriate in the adoption community. Saying “gave up” presumes that the baby is a possession and not a human. The phrase “give up” can also be viewed as an easy decision that the birth mother has made. When a birth mother decides to place their baby for adoption, it is the hardest, most thought out decision a birth mother will probably make in their entire life.
4. Birth mothers sometimes have a relationship with their child
A lot of adoptions are open adoptions. Open adoption allows for some form of communication between the birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents. This can range from pictures, letters, and phone calls to contact through an intermediary, to open contact between the parties themselves. Also known as “cooperative adoption.” A healthy open adoption relationship can be beneficial for everyone involved in the adoption.
5. Birth mothers are human
Placing your child for adoption is very stigmatized. Even though the birth mothers chose what is best for their child, they sometimes feel like they are being judged for their decision. Take some time to understand and get to know birth mothers. We all have our narratives, birth mothers are human, and a lot like you.
For more information about adoption terms, visit: https://afth.org/community-education/glossary-of-terms/
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