After much consideration, you decided that choosing an adoption plan is the best choice for you and your baby. So, it can be discouraging and frightening to discover that your family or friends are not supportive of your choice to place your baby for adoption. Ideally families would understand you are not “giving up” your child but making a powerful and loving decision. To help you navigate dealing with unsupportive family members, here are five tips for what to do why your family is unsupportive of your adoption plan.

1. Educate your family about adoption.

Although adoption has evolved, many people still have outdated ideas and do not understand the process. Your family may be apprehensive due to these misconceptions of adoption. Such as being unable to see or build a relationship with the child. However, most modern adoptions have a degree of openness, in which the birth parent and birth family remain in contact with and visit the child. Have a conversation with your family and explain your decision and why it is the best choice. By taking the opportunity to educate your loved ones on adoption, you can show them how beautiful an adoption plan can be for your family.

2. Speak to a social worker or an agency.

A social worker that can assist you in your decision and help you understand your options. An agency and social worker can provide you with resources throughout your pregnancy and adoption process. The adoption process can be confusing. Social workers and adoption agencies have the skills and training to mediate a discussion with your family about your adoption plan.

3. Make an adoption plan.

An agency and social worker can also guide you in creating an adoption family. It may ease your family’s mind to involve them in your adoption plan if you are comfortable. In your adoption plan, you will outline the degree of openness you would like to have throughout the adoption. If you would like to have your parents be included in your visits, you have the right to request the adoptive parents be open to maintaining that relationship. You may also request that the adoptive parents be open to communicating with not only you but also your family members. By including your family in your adoption plan and educating them, they may understand your choice.

4. Utilize alternate support.

There is no guarantee that your family will accept your choice to place your baby for adoption, but there are other ways to seek out support. Lean on your friends for help through the process. A support group for expectant mothers or birth parents is another option that will give you an outlet to process and share your emotions. Support groups will give you comfort in recognizing that you are not alone. You will be able to learn from other women in different stages of the adoption process. Another significant support resource is your social worker. A social worker can offer support throughout pregnancies, even accompanying you to doctor appointments to guide your conversation about your adoption plan. Social workers can also help post-adoption and answer your questions. If you need to speak to someone urgently, a great way to connect with an adoption professional and gain guidance is through 24/7 hotlines like (866) 835-0568.

5. Remember that this is your choice.

When approaching your family members, remember that ultimately this choice is your own. You may respect your loved ones for their thoughts and opinions. However, when they become unsupportive, it is important to know your boundaries. Prepare yourself for the conversation and let your family know that you hear them but that this choice is your own. By educating your family, utilizing alternate support systems, and understanding your options, you can be comfortable with your choice. Choosing adoption is not easy, but it is brave, so remember to be kind to yourself throughout the process.


Adoption is a beautiful choice and gift. There are still many misconceptions that may hinder your family from supporting your adoption plan. These steps will help you understand and have confidence in your choice despite unsupportive friends and family.

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